The Mouth @ Marie Claire

It's no secret that America is the country with the biggest battle against the bulge going.  It's no secret that our society has pushed for people to believe that this:

is the only acceptable way to be built. We all have our opinions about stuff like that.  I mean, hell yeah I'd love to have abs like that but it's never going to happen.  I lack the motivation or desire to spend that kind of time at the gym.  I effin' HAAAAAAAAAATE working out, I hate being sore, I don't get a rush from it...I have better things to do with my time.  Quite frankly, if 1 hour a day at the gym takes 7 hours a week away from my family, I'm not interested.  My time with my kids and husband are worth way more to be than the size jeans I wear or the # I see on the scale (which I own but use to weigh boxes I'm shipping on eBay-not myself).  Not to mention, I have an amazing husband who; whenever I bash my weight, is quick to say "I married you the way you are and I love you that way.  I don't want some skinny bitch, if I did, I'd be with one."  Awww!  I <3 him!

I've done my time at the gym in the past, my weight has bounced up and down from under weight to 60 lbs over weight and ya know what...skinny didn't make me happy.
I've had my friends who's obsession with their weight made me feel bad about my own.  Guess what, I'm healthy and not all of them are even still with us...going to the gym obsessively or being anorexic won't save your life.
I've even had a couple dickwad boyfriends who made snark-ass comments about my weight.  Get this, I even dated one guy who, after almost 2 years of dating me...and at the time this happened I was a whoppin' 15 lbs over my 'ideal body weight'...told me ON MY BIRTHDAY (after announcing he hadn't gotten me a present) that he couldn't see himself staying with me 'long term' if I didn't lose more weight.  ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTASTIC!  Needless to say, that statement was met by me with a big giant why don't you go outside and play a game of hide and go fuck yourself.  Oh and if on the off hand chance you're reading this Mr. Heroin Chic Skeletore Ex...how'd that knockin up a stripper thing work out for ya?  Here's a big giant middle finger for ya, and stop IM'ing my computer randomly in the middle of the night...freakhog.

It's safe to say that my feelings about weight are well...everyone should mind their own damn business.  If you're skinny, good for you.  If you're "fat" and don't care and are comfortable in your skin and confident in who you are, then here's a giant high five and you totally rock!  I medically speaking, should lose some poundage...yup.  I've lost 8 lbs in the last 3 weeks.  Turns out that portion control is everything...portion control sucks my butt...but it works.  I'm not losing weight to look like a model or so I can be that mom that runs around in skirts to short or a bikini.  Diabetes and heart disease run in my family.  I want to be here to see my kids get married and have kids of their own...sooooooooooo reluctantly I am trying to shed a few to possibly prolong my life.  *sigh*

Now that you know my feelings, here's where it gets good.
Marie Claire, a magazine that once upon a time when I was a young teen, was extremely popular but, honestly I didn't even know was still in circulation...has a whole slew of bloggers writing for it, as do most of the mags now-a-days.  It would seem though, that Marie Claire, unlike other mags, doesn't care about its reputation or care to employ people with even a general sense of decency.

A blogger who rarely gets any comments on what she writes for Marie Claire struck some sensitive bones when she wrote this gem of a post a few days ago (don't worry if you don't have time to read the whole thing, I'll touch on the highlights for you):

Should "Fatties" Get a Room? (Even on TV?)

Where to even begin???  I know other bloggers are writing about this like mad today, but I'm hopping on the horse because as someone who's overweight and has been for probably the last 15 years, I'm pissed the hell off about this and damn it, I've got some shit to say!

Among other C U Next Tuesday-ish things, she states:

 I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair.

WOW you are a grade A BITCH ON WHEELS, and coming from ME, that's BAAAAAAAAAAD!
I find it aesthetically displeasing to look at a super skinny bony person.  I'm sure the readers would LOVE to talk about what they think of you...aesthetically speaking.  Since we're being insensitive:  I love your photo on your blog, that head too big for the body thing-it's a great look, just screams anorexic. (Ouch!  How's it feel to be bashed?  Yeah, I don't mind sinking to your level if it means taking you down a notch or 2.)  PS.  You're foundation is too dark for your body, your face looks oily and shiny, your smile is crooked and what up with the stage make-up style blush?

Are you really comparing a "fat" person walking to a heroin addict borderline OD'ing?!?  REALLY!?  God I hope you don't get paid to write for Marie Claire, because if you do, they should fire your ass with EXTREME PREJUDICE!  Reading your pathetic attempt at writing something interesting is burning my eyes...how's that for aesthetics?

And obesity is costing our country far more in terms of all the related health problems we are paying for, by way of our insurance, than any other health problem, even cancer.

I pay for my insurance.  If I want to use it on my fat ass I will.  Unless you're paying for me, shut the fuck up.

 I have a few friends who could be called plump. I'm not some size-ist jerk.

And as of now, they're no longer your friends because friends don't talk shit about friends like that.  And YES you are a size-ist jerk, you just said watching fat people do "anything" grosses you out!  BTW, you're not a good enough writer or popular enough blogger to make up words so take your 'size-ist' and stick it up your bony ass.

 And I also know how tough it can be for truly heavy people to psych themselves up for the long process of slimming down.

 Unless you've been heavy and lost weight...you don't know SHIT.  I'm so sick of skinny people who've never been fat in their lives saying "I know how hard it is..." NO you don't.  You've never been where I am, you've never had to face this EXACT up hill challenge.  Furthermore, people like you are half the reason it's hard for people like us to psych up for the long process.  Why bother, if we fail you're just going to try to tell us  how to do it, even though you have NO experience losing weight, or talk shit about how we should have tried harder.

 I think obesity is something that most people have a ton of control over. It's something they can change, if only they put their minds to it.

You're uneducated and ignorant about weight loss and obesity.  You should stop talking now...but I doubt you will.

  I'm happy to give you some nutrition and fitness suggestions if you need them — but long story short, eat more fresh and unprocessed foods, read labels and avoid foods with any kind of processed sweetener in them whether it's cane sugar or high fructose corn syrup, increase the amount of fiber you're getting, get some kind of exercise for 30 minutes at least five times a week, and do everything you can to stand up more — even while using your computer — and walk more. I admit that there's plenty that makes slimming down tough, but YOU CAN DO IT! Trust me. It will take some time, but you'll also feel so good, physically and emotionally. A nutritionist or personal trainer will help — and if you can't afford one, visit your local YMCA for some advice.

Wait...do you think that people who are trying to lose weight don't already real labels, try to avoid fattening stuff, eat healthy foods...I mean isn't that like, Weight Loss 101? Oh so now we're fat, disgusting, AAAAAAAAND too stupid to know the basics.  Awesome.

My ass talks shit just fine, I'm good on fiber...but thanks for that insider tip!

Walking up the stairs is a 30 minute work out for some people, but I'm sure that's not enough for you.

Working out has never once in my life made me feel good physically.  Emotionally-I have no feelings about it.

Then again, I guess these characters are in Overeaters Anonymous. So ... points for trying?

BITCH. BITCH. BITCH.  "So...points for trying?"  Holy crap!  Snark is great and can make a person laugh but here you are preaching about how they should try but being in a support group isn't good enough for you? Damn dude!  I would looooooooooove to spend an hour picking you apart-see how fast you go home and cry into your pillow.

Then again, I tend to think most television shows are a kind of junk food for the mind and body. The boob tube gives us an excuse to turn off both our brains and our bodies and probably does a helluva lot to contribute to the obesity problem, over all. So ... I don't know.

Guess in your amazing non-tv watching world you've never heard of Discovery Channel, History Channel, National Geographic Channel...I can keep going if you don't get the fact that these are not just junk food.  Check them out if you're not too afraid that the TV will make you fat.  "So...I don't know" is a great way to establish some report with your writing and show your readers that you are informed about what you blog about.  :headdesk:

What do you guys think? Fat people making out on TV — are you cool with it? Do you think I'm being an insensitive jerk?

I think this that ever "fat" person in America should strip down to their skivvies and take a photo of themselves and mail it to :

Marie Claire Magazine

300 West 57th St., 34th Fl. New York, NY 10019-1497
Attn:  Super Bitch Blogger

so you can hork in the tiny little garbage can in your tiny little office cubical!  HEY!  Think of it this way, we'll all be helping you to maintain a healthy weight...just open our photos after you eat lunch!


*** Sigh ***


She writes at the top of her post that her editor asked her if she thinks people are uncomfortable seeing fat people make out on TV.  Nice.  Way to pass the buck on a blog post you KNEW would cause problems.  Why not grow a set and tell your editor that even implying this is a good thing to post about, or a question that's even appropriate to ask is douchetastic and a sign that they're not cut out for the job they do...rather than offending hundreds of thousands of people and having to eat crow in your lame ass attempt to justify your post and apologize.

As for your apology:

And for whatever it's worth, I feel just as uncomfortable when I see an anorexic person as I do when I see someone who is morbidly obese, because I assume people suffering from eating disorders on either end of the spectrum are doing damage to their bodies, and that they are unhappy. But perhaps I shouldn’t be so quick to judge based on superficial observations.

It's my body.  If I want to damage it, I will.  It's the only thing I own outright and I will treat it as I choose.
I am one of the happiest people you would ever meet.  I bitch about stuff on my blog because it's fun.  I wake up every morning to a handsome man, a beautiful family, an awesome house, and I get to work for myself and pretty much do whatever I want all day long.  My life literally couldn't get much better than it is!  You should not only not be so quit to judge based on any observation you make-as they're obviously skewed-but you should take a long hard look in the mirror and each thing that you see that you don't feel is 1000x absolutely perfect, you should write in a blog and post a photograph of it, so that those who you've hurt, can show you what it feels like to be on the other end.  "I'm Sorry" doesn't always cut it.

To that point (and on a more personal level), a few commenters and one of my friends mentioned that my extreme reaction might have grown out of my own body issues, my history as an anorexic, and my life-long obsession with being thin. As I mentioned in the ongoing dialogue we’ve been carrying on in the comments section, I think that's an accurate insight.

OH!  So the skinny bitch who admits she starved herself and has a life long obsession with being thin is grossed out by fat people.  BWAHAHAHAHAHA!  Shit!  If I'd read that before I got to this point in my blog, I would have been a lot meaner to you!  You have NO right to talk about anyone's weight.  Way to succumb to societies expectations of you!  At least I can hold my head high and say I've never once let society tell me who I should be.  *Shakes head in disbelief*  Go home and eat an extra large pizza.  Skip the gym for a week.  Put on 5 lbs, you could probably use it.


As for Marie Claire...

It's sad to see that Maura Kelly's post has not impacted you as a company in any way.  I had hoped that something worth while would come out of this train wreck of bad editing and worse taste...but aside from her pathetic attempt to smooth things over with your fatty readers, nothing.

See there's a difference between writing a blog like mine, for myself and my readers, for no real reason but for fun; and doing it for a company.  She represents your business and each of your employees, and does it quite poorly at that.  Every single person who works for you; from the CEO to the people running your print presses, should be embarrassed that Marie Claire supports someone writing this and worse yet-allowed it to be posted.  I hope there's some big mean fat bitch working somewhere in that office building who lays down a few good punches on Miss Maura's 'perfect' little face.

As for Maura:

In your 30's and never been in love before.  It's simple.  You have to love yourself before you can fall in love with someone else.  Good luck with that.

I'm not one to cram being politically correct down anyone's throat.  I believe in our 5th Amendment right to freedom of speech and I believe that also is the freedom to be a bitch with what we say sometimes but that post is nothing but an eating disorder pot calling a kettle of the same material black, a horrible business choice on the part of Marie Claire, and an example of horse shit editing.  Shame shame shame on you & your magazine.


And just in case you wondered, Maura...here's what "fat" and happy AND BEAUTIFUL THE WAY I AM looks like:

On my wedding day 2008 (size 18 in case you wondered)

With my baby boy 2010

With friends 2004

Screwing around at home 2002

One of my faves 2009