Thursday, December 16, 2010

Would you like your brains fried or scrambled?

Nothing warms my heart like a story of strength, survival and kicking the fuck out of a douche bag!
Thank you to my dear friend Chrissie for sending me this link from  It absolutely made my day!


Hutchinson police say a 71-year-old woman knocked a man who attacked her unconscious with her frying pan.
Police Sgt. John Moore said 25-year-old Kevin Funderburk talked his way into the woman's home on Saturday, claiming he was homeless and had nowhere to go.
Moore said that when he tried to attack the woman, she fought back and "beat him down with a frying pan."
"When we arrived, he was unconscious and lying in his own vomit in the back of the house," Moore told The Hutchinson News. "He was in the hospital in Wichita over the weekend and they stapled his scalp."
Funderburk was jailed on $55,200 bond on suspicion of attempted rape, aggravated battery, criminal restraint and criminal damage to property. He was wearing a neck brace when he made his first appearance Tuesday in court.
The Hutchinson News reported that the woman was injured, but Moore did not release how serious her injuries were.
There are not enough H's and A's in the weberverse to show you via text in my blog how hard I laughed  when I read this.  GO GRANNY GO!

What kind of piece of shit on wheels has a rap sheet including rape, battery, restraint, and damage to property?  Who tries to attack a 71 year old woman?  This guy right here:
 Image: Kevin Funderburk
The only thing better than the fact that this dbag got his ass kicked by a 71 year old woman is the fact that he has a busted face and neck brace in his mug shot forever documenting it!  AND, I would guess that will leave a scar.  How do ya think he'll feel looking at his busted up face and knowing the little old lady from Pasedena gave him that mark!?  

Now, look here little old ladies...DON'T LET GUYS IN IF YOU DON'T KNOW THEM!  Don't even answer the door...although if you do, apparently you should do it with frying pan in hand.  

Not only did he get his ass kicked by someone old enough to have birthed his parents...she mopped up the floor with him so badly that he require staples in his head and a neck brace.  

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND...Babe Ruth there swung hard enough to make him throw up!  Do you know how bad a head injury has to be to make someone hork?  Pretty bad, trust me, I damn near knocked myself out last night when I accidentally threw my head back into the corner of a shelf.  I didn't feel queasy for even a second!  That's a serious body reflex to injury.  I am damn impressed.  

There really are no words for how awesome this is.  
Let the dickheads out there be warned, we women have frying pans and know how to use them!


Overthinking Mama said...

i love it!!!

1 Funky Woman said...

Way to go Grandma! Scum, thats what he is!


VM Sehy Photography said...

Nice. It always makes my day when women are able to thwart duchebags. Especially when they're elderly. Good for her!