Thursday, December 23, 2010

What I Really Want For Christmas...

...right this second is a bottle of Advil bigger than me.  Frick this headache that I've had for 2 days.  Stupid sinus infections!  I have decided that my new goal in life is to figure out a way to hook some sort of mass batch of liquid antibiotics into my whole house humidifier and run a steady stream of meds to my entire family via our HVAC system all winter long.  I am SO SICK of people being sick.  I swear my house is like...well like this:
The constant passing around of streppalastaphicasnotilous I dont even frickin know what, has GOT to stop. 
I'm pretty sure one of the 6 of us has been sick at all times since mid October...maybe even earlier.  I'm on my 2nd round of antibiotics for the 2nd time in a row and lucky lucky me, going in for blood work today to make sure I'm not relapsing into my Hurricane Katrina Disease of Doom that I was soooooooooooo sure I had officially kicked about 2 years ago.  

So, wahhhhh wahhhhh that's why I haven't blogged in a few days.  I've been licking my wounds and laying around with my baby boy and 2 older kids who are all sporting mini  hand sanitizer sprays, boxes of kleenex and an assortment of antibiotics.  My husband has larengitis which has only made his sexy voice sexier...that's the only up side to this entire batch of grub we have going.  That's not much of an up side.  As I type, my little guy who's sleeping soundly on his home made med in our kitchen where I am running 2 boiling pots of water trying to unstuff his concrete now coughing.  Awesome.  Good thing I didn't box up the nebulizer for the move yet!

What I REALLY want for Christmas is for my family to all be healthy...and STAY healthy.  Highly unlikely.  I swear, home schooling looks better and better all the time.  Less petri dish=healthier kids=happier family.  

I'm always amazed at the lack of concern people have for one another's health.  Hi...lady at the store...DON'T FUCKING COUGH ON ME.  End of story.  Sweet Jesus is it that hard to cover your mouth?  Or even turn your head?  And forget about kids.  I have worked so hard to teach my little ones to blow their noses not wipe them on their clothes, to cough into their elbows (which...just fyi...I still think is stupid), to keep a space bubble between them and the next person if they aren't feeling well...why can't other people do that?  I'm going to pimp slap the next fucker who spews any sort of bodily mist in my direction or the direction of my small sassy people...or the next fucker who's kid wipes snot on their hand and then reaches for my baby in the shopping cart!
Can you see me in slow motion screaming 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' as some grubby kid gets to close to my boy?  I'm sure postal would be an appropriate description of what would come next.

So as I start my 2nd round of one of the strongest antibiotics they make in pill form...and cross my fingers that it doesn't kill the good bacteria in my body and cause a major case of crotch rot...eww...TMI...I am reminded of that awesome time of year when we cram into stores to buy crap no one wants and infect eachother with our grossness.  Yup.  I'm a humbug today.  I'm good with it.  Now, if you don't kleenex box, saline, and vapor rub and I are going to go force ourselves to wrap presents.  Tons.  And Tons.   Of Presents.  For my spoiled shites.  :)  Merry Christmas to all!

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