Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Levels & Definitions of Crazy *21st Cent Style*

This post goes out to Drew & Chrissy and the rest of my girls on TB BLF and their awesome BSC's who keep us giggling, rolling our eyes, and sighing on a regular basis.

There are a number of levels of crazy.  I wish I could do visual aids with this post, but I'm sure it would get me in trouble down the line.

I consider myself a bit of an authority on these levels as in years past I have had to deal with people of all sorts of crazy, spanning from your run of the mill "eccentric" type, to the type that leave you counting on your fingers the number of personalities they have.
The levels of crazy are subjective and trying to fit a person into one of these levels can often be quite difficult because crazy is as crazy does and crazy like to change quite frequently!  I will do my best to explain these levels and the proper usage of the terms. not attempt to explain to a crazy person, what level of crazy they fit into.  This will likely enrage them and send them into a gorilla-esque chest pounding fury!

Let us begin.

Whackadoo  This term refers to someone acting out of sorts or out of character to a concerning level.  A person acting or being whackadoo has obviously "lost their gourd" or completely checked out of reality.  In a whackadoo's case, this is usually a temporary loss of sanity and will cease as soon as someone steps up to remind the whackadoo of what reality is.
Proper usage of the term Whackadoo:
Someone who snaps temporarily under pressure:
"Did you see her go totally whackadoo and start screaming in court today?!?"
Someone who has inflated their self worth to ridiculous proportions
"He has got to be whackadoo if he thinks he can hit on that cop and not get a ticket."
Someone who threatens others needlessly or with silly meaningless terms:
"That Whackadoo really just said she would beat my greasy head-face in, didn't she!?"

At the whackadoo level, a crazy is almost never a threat.  They may THINK they are a threat, but one of the shining characteristics of a whackadoo is an inflated sense of self worth and occasionally flat out narcissism.  As a result, the only threat they pose is one of offering nasty insults or a rough tongue lashing.

Koo-Koo-Loolie is a term use to describe someone of a general level of insanity, who while likely not harmful to others, can be described as "not right" or "off" to a level beyond that of a normal functioning person.
The term Koo-Koo-Loolie can be used when talking about
Mothers-In-Law:  "Dude, your mother-in-law is koo-koo-loolie if she thinks you're not only going to let her stay with you for a whole 3 weeks this summer, but also cancel all your plans to hang out with her and drive her around everywhere!"
Ex-Lovers/Ex-Spouses:  "Man your ex is a total Koo-koo-loolie!  Does she really believe all those lies she tells?  She actually convinced herself that you got a cop to falsify reports!"
Relatives:  "My aunt is so koo-koo-loolie!  She actually took her dead cat's body and had it stuffed!  It's sitting next to her chair!"
And that 80 something year old lady at the park who talks to her shoes all day.

Please note:  A person who is koo-koo-loolie will likely NOT push you into traffic, but will think about it.  This person will frequently make up lies about themselves and others and in extreme cases, tell the lies so much that they begin to believe them.  A koo-koo-loolie is most likely a coward, but as anyone who watches Criminal Minds knows, it only takes one life changing event to push someone to the next level.  A koo-koo-loolie can quickly fall over the edge so be cautious when dealing with any one who falls into this category.

Bat Shit Crazy (BSC).
There are 2 schools of thought on the origins of the term Bat Shit Crazy.  Some say that the term referred to those who contracted histoplasmosis and are said to have gone "crazy" as a result.  Histoplasmosis is a Tuberculosis type of chronic lung disease which, if left untreated can cause blindness and all sorts of other pleasant things.  Others say that the term stems from the term "bats in the belfry".  If an old church was abandoned, the belfry (area where the large  bell was housed), often became the home to bats.  To say that someone has 'bats in the belfry' is to say that they have nothing going on "upstairs" or in their brain.  According to, to say someone is bat shit crazy is to take it a step further and imply that it has been so long since there has been any activity upstairs, that not only are there bats in the belfry but it is also full of bat shit.  Which origin is correct is neither here nor any case...Bat Shit Crazy is not a good thing.

Some people will claim that BSC is the highest level of crazy you can find.  This writer disagrees.
While a person who is Bat Shit Crazy has very little grasp on reality, and is prone to completely psychotic behavior and skitzo thought patterns, they are often self absorbed and as such, unlikely to be a threat for any lengthy period of time.

Bat Shit Crazy is reserved for those who's level of insanity extends FAR beyond the reaches of this universe.  A BSC does not think in a logical manner and their actions often leave normal people staring in awe and wonder with their jaws on the floor.  It is quite frequently impossible to comprehend what would drive a BSC to do the things they do.  There is no rhyme or reason to their actions though to them...there is almost always a purpose.  Do NOT attempt to understand a BSC, it will befuddle you and cause eye twitches.

"That broad is Bat Shit Crazy!" 
Ok that's the only example I've got.

Last but not least is the category of:

Straight up Shirley Mason
One must exercise extreme caution when using this term as it is likely to offend one, if not all, of the personalities belonging to the person of whom you are referring.  Shirley Ardell Mason, also known as Sybil, was one of the first people to be diagnosed with multiple personality disorder/dissociative identity disorder.  Her mother was a schizophrenic who used to peep into neighbors windows at night.  Shirley Mason had as many as 16 identified personalities!  In other words, she was never lonely!  At best Mason was an
extremely suggestible hysteric...I think I know one of those...
So Straight up Shirley Mason, as you can imagine, is something reserved for those who's level of crazy is of the keep the party going type.

SUSMs are prone to blackouts where they remain conscious but have no recollection of events, being your friend one minute "Hey Hon, it's me..." then threatening to kill your significant other the next...then back to being your friend "...but I'm not calling to fight!"
SUSM is a very scary thing to witness.  Often SUSM leaves the other people in the room wondering if THEY'RE all crazy...after all, how can this person seem to be so many people?!

If you encounter a SUSM stay the F away!  There is no winning with them.  There is no reasoning with them.  There is no working as one with them...because you will just have to start over at square one when Victoria disappears and the next personality comes out to play!
SUSMs will often be adamant that events never happened.  They will swear people are making things up and that they would remember, when in reality...they were not here for reality.
"I don't know what she was talking about today in court because she was Straight-up Shirley Mason!"
"I swear she told me she cheated on me but she swears she never said it!  She must have been straight up Shirley Mason!"
"WHOA!  SLOW DOWN THERE SHIRLEY MASON...You can't keep bouncing from nice to psycho on me!"

Now, in no way am I slamming anyone who has a REAL disorder they are seeking help for.  I applaud anyone who is seeking help for doing so.
I'm not a shrinky dink.  I'm not a counselor.  I'm just a girl who can't count on one hand (literally) the number of levels of crazy she has dealt with in her recent past.

Next time around, I will touch on other types of BSC including:

Creepophiles-those people you meet who just KNOW there's a term out there that applies to them that has 'ophile' as the suffix.
Skeezoids-those girls that go waaaaay too far beyond slutty.
and my personal fave McMoochers-those who will do anything and use anyone to get a meal ticket.

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