Friday, March 5, 2010

Sex & Media

I've been too old to read trash magazines like Cosmo for a long long time.  But out of curiosity and boredum the other day, I picked a copy up at the check out stand.

God help me...the time it took me to read it, was a couple hours of my life I will NEVER get back!  And yes..I read it all.  Cover to cover.  It was like a train wreck!  I couldn't look away.  What's worse is when the house was quiet and everyone was sleeping and I was wide awake (damn that last cup of coffee I just HAD to have!) I got on their site to look up a quiz.  STUPID!

Do you believe they have a sex blog?  A SEX BLOG!  I'm all about blogging but that's where I draw the line.  Although out of morbid curiosity I clicked on sounded like it was written by a 15 yr old.  And that's just the beginning.
I quote from one of the posts "Whatever, you were totally checking out my weiner."

As we would say on :HeadDesk:
You have got to be kidding me!  THIS is what 20 somethings are reading? 

This sad sad discovery of lack of intellectual stimulation lead me down the road to the rest of the website who's highlights are as follows:

"Ask him anything" is my absolute favorite.  I want to get paid to answer these questions...well if you can call them questions...most of them are just open ended statements!  My answers would go something like this:

Q:  He never comes up with ideas of his own.

A:  He's a moron...find someone new

Q:  I've always been really scared of getting an STD.

A:  Don't be a whore, & you won't get one
Q:  I always see guys approach girls who are far less attractive than I am.

A:  Check your breath
Q:  I'm a touchy-feely flirt, but dudes take it as a green light to drunkenly be all over me.
A:  You're a tease.  You're the reason guys think 'No' means 'Yes'.  Stop acting skeezy.

Q:  They're really close, they hang out by themselves, he never asks me to join them, and oh, yeah — she's gorgeous.

A:  Really...?  You can't see what's going on here?!?


Don't even get me started on the "confessions".  Good Lord!

Look 20's all the advice you need:

1.  Either stop being slutty, or accept your sluttiness and be proud of it; but stop using it as an excuse to dog guys.  They are what they are, if you don't like it, don't feed into it.
2.  You don't need to know 10,000 positions or techniques.  A warm breeze is enough for most guys
3.  If he's spending time with her...there's a reason and its not that she's good conversation
4.  He doesn't care about your hair cut/color, your eye shadow, or your shoes...end of story

Why over complicate one of the most simple things on the planet? 

Once your a 21st C DG you know all this. Been there, done that.  Keeping your man happy is key.  This day & age, if you don't keep him happy someone else will.  Take the 10 minutes twice a week to give your attention to him.  See if it doesn't make your home life a million times better, or at minimum bring a smile to your hubby's face.  I bet if you do...the trash will magically take itself out!

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