I'm a Chicagoan. Not by birth, but by unfortunate circumstances that led to my family moving here...kidding (well sort of, them bears sure did let us down this year!).
As a Chicagoan, I have a true grasp of the term "Freeze your *insert body part here* off".
I also understand what that white fluffy frozen stuff is on the ground this time of year. Snow happens. Kinda like shit. There's no way around it.
So today, my awesome friend Christie posts a link of the book of faces to an article being run by our home town news channel WGN in which the National Weather Service was quoted as saying that the blizzard coming our way...that's right I said BLIZZARD will be:
dangerous, multifaceted and potentially life-threatening*GASP* Totally back of the hand to the forehead dramatic!!
First off, ITS A BLIZZARD! And I don't mean the DQ yumminess filled with cookie dough...
Of fucking course it's dangerous! You're talking a shit ton of snow people! 3 inches PER HOUR, the plows won't even TRY at that rate! They'll sit in the shop sippin on coffee and eating ho-hos and soaking up the overtime until it slows down. Where I live, they're talking about aprox 20 inches...OF SNOW you sick bitches!
20 inches of snow...45mph winds...you're talking about drifting up to 8 foot in places like...oh hick towns like mine. NO SHIT it's dangerous! White out conditions people...back in the olden days they used to tie a rope around the door of the house and run it out to the barn so they wouldn't get lost in their own back yards and die in the snow during white out conditions. That means...Don't drive.
Second...who writes this shit? The National Weather Service has apparently been overtaken by uber dramatic 16 year old girls. OMG! SO EFFIN MUCH SNOW! LIKE...DON'T GO OUT THERE! YOU COULD TOTALLY DIE!
Don't get me wrong. I know storms are dangerous. Aunty Em, the Lollipop Guild & all...but this seems a little much. It's snow. Use your head. Don't drive like a moron, or better yet, don't drive at all until it's cleaned up. Don't go lay down in your yard and take a nap while it's coming down at a rate of 3 inches per hour and I'm pretty sure you will survive. If power goes out, have a plan in place, know where there are local shelters equipped to deal with power outages. Isn't this common sense stuff???
Has our great country really gotten so stupid and so finger pointing that the NWS has to go over the top with their warnings so no one shouts "They didn't tell me how bad it would be!!!"
Dude. 20 inches of snow=bad. Got it?
Call it lack of sleep from my wild weekend with the hubs, or call it me being a giant c u next tuesday...either way. This is just stupid.
SO, MIDWESTERNINIANS...if you're in the path of this storm, get your ass to the grocery store tonight and stock up on shit you think you'll need (pssssssssst...try like...water, bread, milk...you'll be good). Hook up those genny's and stock up your fire wood. It's only a storm. This too shall pass!
2 comments:
I know how you feel. I'm in Rhode Island and we've gotten 60 inches this month (er, in January)
The Rhode Island mentality is a little different. Here it's a panic over a 'chance of snow'. Grocery stores? Empty shelves. You think people would be used to snow here since it's, yanno, New England. Where it snows. Evey frackin' year. Go figure.
I grew up in Iowa so blizzards are pretty much a given. I, too, wonder what runs through people's minds. The news doesn't help. They show footage of these storms like they hope something really tragic will happen instead another dull boring snow storm.
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