Thursday, January 6, 2011

Ok, God. You have my attention.

I'm not superstitious.  I walk under ladders.  I own a black cat.
My husband is.  He was all paranoid about picking out a name for the baby before we were close to the end of the pregnancy...he throws salt over his shoulder...he says you will get warts on your butt if you sit on the kitchen counter...he thinks you can jinx things.

I was a weekly church goer as a kid.  I still go, but not every week.  I believe in things, although I think putting a stamp on God as being exactly what one group or another says he/she silly and naive.  That said, the basis of my beliefs is rooted in Christianity.

That means dead birds+dead fish+more dead birds+dead crabs+more dead fish+all in one week=my bible being dusted off and my ammo being restocked!
The entire world is looking to scientists right now for answers and guess what folks, THEY DON'T HAVE ANY!  "Possible pollutants" and "likely natural causes" is the best answer I have heard so far.

I'll admit, all these unexplained mass deaths have brought out a little bit of superstition or at least some book of Revelation awareness from the dark recesses of my mind.  So like any good Christian, what am I doing?  Finding someone to blame for the end of the world.

The world is going to Hell in a handbasket and there is really only one thing to blame for it...Disney Channel & Nickelodeon!

She's lost her marbles!  Nah!
It's the Prednisone!  Nah!

Seriously, those channels encompass everything that sucks about our society and all that which will inevitably send us all to the belly of a 4 headed hound.

Stay with me here.

These stars are supposed to be role models for our kids.  Their shows (in theory...and I question this) are supposed to be teaching some basic lessons to kids about life and how to be a good person.
Lindsay Lohan is a fucking train wreck.  There's no other way to describe her.  I love that she was the super cute star, not once but twice, of the newest Parent Trap movie.
Jamie Lynn Spears was once star of "Zoey 101" which was given an Emmy for Best Children's Show, and she got knocked up before she was legal to vote!
Demi Levato likes to knock the piss out of her dancers...then while in rehab for anger and emotional problems a sex tape surfaces.  So much for "That's So Random" and the "Camp Rock" movies which I thought were really awesome!
Hanny Montany has been bangin her boyfriend under her parents' roof for a few years now.  Did I mention he was old enough and her young enough for him to go to jail for statutory rape when he moved into her house?

The list goes on and on and on and on.  Honestly, if God decides to burn it all down, I can't blame him.

Ok it IS silly, Prednisone inspired and probably total bullshit.  But I will admit that all of this

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