Friday, November 26, 2010

All Aboard the Stabbity Train

I hate to break it to y'all but uhm...

So today I broke my cardinal rule and went Black Friday shopping.  The store was misleadingly calm and once loaded to the point of having to say excuse me more times than I can count to get past people and after a few mishaps of things falling off my stack so tall I couldn't see past it...I stood in the check out line for TWENTY MINUTES!!!  Black Friday-you suck.  Never again!  I'll pay extra to maintain my sanity!

After my shopping trip, I hit the attic to dig out some holiday cheer to decorate with, which is where I found it...a stabbity unlike any other stabbity I have ever seen.
What is a Stabbity?

According to everyone's favorite dictionary (

Stabbity Doll: (n) Creepy-ass antique doll that looks like it will come to life and kill you while you’re sleeping. If this thing is in the guest room where you’re supposed to sleep, you will *not* be able to fall asleep because you’re listening for the tappity tappity of tiny little shoes. Has those creepy eyes that open and shut; one of the eyes is inevitably wonky so it looks like it’s winking at you as if to say, “night-night!” Variation: Stabbity Nana Doll; same thing but with human hair from your dead Nana. Bonus points if said doll has actual human teeth as well.
That stabbity doll I saw on stark. raving. mad. mommy. is the creepiest thing I have seen in the whole history of ever.

If you read stark.raving.mad.mommy you know all about Stabbity dolls and how awesomely creepy they are. Mom in a million recently jumped on the stabbity train with a Stabbity Elf found here: and in the spirit of the holidays I am jumping on board myself.
I present to you my very 1st stabbity...The Stabbity Reindeer:

Once upon a time this was a very cute reindeer candle similar to this...but with stabbity eyes...
...but each year it has warped further and further out of shape in my attic.  Now it's deformed and contorted body and what is left of it's ears only add to my belief that the reindeer pulling santa's sleigh are more wild and unruly than anyone ever let on.

So while the hillbillies down the street get their unique decorations set up:

...I am weighing the options:
*Toss the Stabbity Reindeer to the depths of the local dump and let one more piece of Christmas past fade to memory
*or keep the it, and find some twisted way to display this creepy little guy

Back to decorating and making sure no one has found the present stash!


dull_flame said...

I felt rather stabbity myself today. I worked at Bath and Body Works. I still can't believe my first real shift fell on Black-mother-effin-Friday. Thank God it was only five hours.

21st Century D.G. said...

I felt kinda stabbity today's cuz I spent yesterday evening with my sister. She could make Mother Teresa feel stabbity.

Anonymous said...


I have stabbity elf!!!!


21st Century D.G. said...

You ARE my stabbity elf, Flinky!