Monday, September 19, 2011

Move me into the trailer

I never leave my house scummy.  Never.  Even if I havent showered I dry-shampoo my hair...throw on a cute hat, make up, and at minimum jeans and a decent shirt.  I was raised by a mom who valued her appearance and so I do too.

So what happens today?  I decide to be scummy.  I was out of milk, out of mt dew, clearly cant have coffee without milk and thus...had a caffeine crisis.  There is a gas station in town that I normally wont spend money at because everything is so expensive but I wasnt in the mood to go into the next town over to the grocery so I said screw it...and double screw it, and headed for the gas station in serious scum mode.

After losing 75 lbs, even my old yoga pants are huge.  So I grab a hoodie, throw it on, a bandana, a tiny bit of make up just to cover my zit and dark circles under my eyes from staying up way too late last night...and its out the door in flip flops and way baggy oversized yoga pants.  Fuck it.  Its just the damn gas station.


Cuz we all know the kinda luck I have.  Sweet Jesus, the guy who walked in when I was standing at the register was GORGEOUS!  No ring, great ink, shaved head, kick ass truck, buff, and had these killer eyes.  And I'm standing there, baby on hip, with the clerk asking me if my divorce is over yet, in scummy baggy pj pants and a bandana and hoodie.  HELLO WHITE TRASH!

Seriously, just reserve me a plat at the trailer park and call up my soon to be ex to bring me a single wide from his work cuz I might as well have been pickin my teeth with dragon lady nails and smokin with curlers in my hair.  At least, being someone who's normally dressed nicely, that's how I felt.  SHIT SHIT SHIT!  The ONE TIME there's something worth paying attention to at the gas station in this God forsaken town...I LOOK like I belong in this town!  DAMN.

I swear.  Somedays, all you can do is shake your head.  My soon to be ex always says he loves his women trashy...good thing he didn't see me like this, he mighta changed his mind about the agreed divorce!

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