I'm amazed at the things I hear come out of my mouth. Sometimes I stop and think...is that me, did I just say that...holy fuck!
I sat down tonight and laughed at myself. Things that I say outloud and that go through my head now, would have sent me to a padded room with a nice quiet place to scream 6 years ago. So I figured I would share my favorites. In the order of how my day went...
-FUCK go back to sleep. 6 am?!?! What the fuck.
-Yes you're super cute and mom...MOM...HOLY HELL...MOM...love "mama! Hi!" but its like 730am
-UHG! its 730am! FUCK ME in the goat ass!
-Where are my contacts? Where are my glasses. Why is moose wearing my glasses. That's gonna SO not good for his eyes!
-Why does it smell like shit in my house?
-Coffee. MUST HAVE COFFEE.
-STFU. Why are all the animals whining at the same time? Stupid fucking zoo. Hey! Lets get a kitten! That's a great idea! *Sarcasm*
-Email bullshit. Comment bullshit. Business bullshit. Can I please have a part time job? OH wait, I can't. I raise a baby full time.
-Holy hell...what smells like shit in this house.
-Stupid kitten...I think you smell like shit.
-Would someone PLEASE make me some coffee...oh yeah...that's my job...
-Moose come here, do you smell like shit...
-*raises arm to sniff check* Do I smell like shit?
- Maybe my nose smells like shit on the inside.
Smelling like shit. Its a theme here. A dog, 2 cats, a toddler who is interested but not quite potty trained yet...and my gassy ass...yup. Take out stock in Febreze people.
The concept of my house, er a house smelling like shit never occurred to me until late. The concept of owning a house...even further from the reality I thought I'd be part of 6 years ago. A dream yes, a reality...no.
Looking for a NEW...er used but new to me house...just me and the little man...even FURTHER from reality.
-Really, something smells like shit. Really...maybe its me *sniff sniff* no, not me...