But last night I had a dream about fashion. I can't remember everything about it, but I do remember this...in my amazing perfect fashion world...shoes were always perfect. Then I awoke to find that Crocs still exist, so clearly...reality set in.
I have, until recently, hated shopping with a passion.
I have, until recently, avoided purchasing any clothing that showed anything other than my feet and cleavage.
I have, until recently, hated fashion and fashion related things enough to scoff at just about every model and style that has come out in recent years.
See...if you've read much you know that I hate fat jokes, fat comments, and people making others feel fat in general. Its bullshit. I might be chunky but I'm not psychotic, a cheater, violent...well except in blog form, stupid, or ugly. All of which are things that are far harder to change than being fat.
So please allow me to do 2 things today. #1 and most importantly, say a big fuck you to all the skinny bitches who make everyone else feel bad about themselves. Please recall the Marie Claire incident. Uhg.
I was talking to a friend today and they mentioned some friends who are 'gym rats' (which made me gigglesnort) and how they put everyone down if they're a little over weight. I hate that. Don't ride my ass because you don't like how I'm built or you think you're better or hotter than me because your body fat index thingy is lower. Kiss my fat ass!
When your ticker kicks out from being over run and over worked out and over whatever'd like so many 50-something hard core gym nazis do...I'll be kickin back havin a beer, pattin my buddah belly and makin it to 70.
#2...allow me to state, that though I hate people who make other's feel bad about their body type...I have adopted a new attitude about my own body. I coasted through on all sorts of excuses over the years...bad knee...no time to work out...slow metabolism...etc. Truth is, I over eat. Er...I did.
In the last 2 months I have retrained myself to eat proper portions. To watch unnecessary calorie intake (...drink diet dew not diet sundrop...dew=no calories, not the same with sundrop...that kinda stuff), I wont even touch pop unless its diet and has no calories or carbs. Just decided what my old Weight Watcher's leader said is actually true...nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
Now, I have no desire to look like this:
Yeah...that's gross. Get some fucking McDonalds you toothpick! PS...for as skinny as you are up top...you appear to have a serious case of office ass! RUH ROH! Better hit that Treadclimber!
That being said, I want to be a healthier weight. I have a baby boy to be here for...for a minimum of the next 18 years...preferably more. I have to be able to keep up with him 24/7 and quite frankly, he wears me out sometimes...so getting in better shape is not just something I SHOULD do, its something I MUST do if I am going to survive being a free mom raising a little monster man! (That's right, I said "FREE MOM" because I refuse to be lumped into the group of single moms who use the term single mom as a negative thing).
I've started watching my food intake and what I intake...I'm TRYING to walk although the weather is not cooperating much...and I pretend like I'm doing my P90X videos every now and then.
All this has lead to 2 other things:
#1 I have gone from looking like this a few months ago:
To now looking like this, quite literally today:
My total weight loss as of this morning was 41 lbs. KICK ASS!!!
#2...yes...I have, reluctantly, accepted that I...of all people...am becoming a Fashionista.
God love my mom and dad who took me shopping for new clothes after I LITERALLY walked out of my jeans in front of them....but they started something and now I want more.
I have seen the light and I understand the concept behind dressing to uhm...impress.
In any case. I'm patting myself on the back...giving a swift crotch kick to those who make others feel shitty about their bodies...and reminding everyone that if I can do this...you can too...cuz I am one LAZY bitch.