High Fashion-Me style!

In honor of my 31st, my hubs and I spent part of the evening (post kids in bed) going through boxes of old photos.  My facebook friends all hate me right now...Oh yea...no one is exempt from embarrassing picture posting!

Let me just say, I was a spoiled little thing.  Shopping sprees at Saks Fifth Ave twice a year, Daddy rarely said no.  Mom read and still reads Vogue, Bazarr, etc religiously.  We were always dressed in whatever the hottest trends were at the time.

Looking back...I'm not so sure that was a good thing!  Don't take that as me bragging, just wanted to set up for the embarrassment that is to follow...honestly...these were the hot styles at the time!!!

This will be a fun one for those of you around the same age or a little older than me.  Walk with me as we look at high fashion through the last 31 years!

In the early days...very early 80's, it was all about the terry cloth!  Not only was it comfy, it was functional-no need to have a towel ever!  Just use your clothes!  And of course-you had to have the ringer tee-no outfit was complete without those lovely other colored cuffs on the t-sleeves! (Awww, isnt my chunky sister cute in her diaper!)

 

Lets face it.  Mom's have a style all their own.  I DESPISE turtle necks to this day.  The stripes aren't bad but check out that shag carpet I'm leaning on!  WOW!

In case you weren't aware...Little House on The Prairie was all the rage!!!  This pinafore dress is so Laura Engles Wilder it's not even funny!  Look at that precious smile!  Don't let it fool you...I'm pure evil!

AH THE BIRTH OF THE BUNNY EARS!!!   My sister, so oblivious!  Look at my shorts!  Could they get any closer to my rib cage?

And the lake!  How I loved the lake.  And the lake loved my matching shorts and button down shirt with the pseudo Hawaiian pink and white print.  No look is complete without a pair of white Keds!

I am going to preface this one by pointing out that we were at camp.  Not exactly the place for Sunday bests. That being said, although I would have argued it back then, I am by far the dorkiest.  I will admit that Ingrid's green on green sweat suit is fabulous, but take a good look at me (2nd from the right).

For starters-holy spiral perm!!  And my glasses...Good God!  If those got any bigger Harry Caray would be jealous!  You can't miss my bright blue sweat pants.  And the piece de resistance...the lime green fanny pack!!! OH YEAH BABY!!! The boys are gonna be banging on my door!

I don't even know where to start with this.  

This was taken at the Welcome Home parade for the soldiers who fought in the Gulf War.

Again...glasses that Harry Caray would love to call his own.  Actually...these look like they just might be his!

That shirt, if you can't tell from the pic, is the ULTIMATE in patriotism.  Not only is it a flag, it is made 100% out of sequins!  That's right folks, SEQUINS!  

Again note the lime green fanny pack (and my sister wearing her pink one...which might I add, she not only still owns but wore this past summer when we were on vacation in Disney!  Yeah...DORK!)

Last but not least, in true Mid-80's fashion...the shiny black vinyl bomber jacket!  This one says "Copeland Dance Academy" on the back.  Because I'm cool like that.

Nothing says Merry Christmas like a bumble bee block sweater!

This is one of my favorites.  Aside from the fact that I (far left) am wearing Mom jeans (above the belly button...which mind you, as a MOM I do NOT wear) I have the long blazer on.  COME ON!  Who didn't own a long blazer and wear it with jeans!  The only thing cooler than this was the early 90's when we all wore button downs with men's ties!  That's right Avril, we were doing it WAY before you...and its still not cool.

Now we've graduated to high school.  Freshman homecoming!  I had 2 dates.  Yup.  2.  

And who can blame them-hello little black dress!

Sophomore year I had to kick it up a notch.  I was after the man of my dreams and the girl to the left was his girlfriend.  I had my dress 1st!!! She copied me.  Rightfully so, I mean, I was smokin!

                                               

As you can see, I was thrilled to be there.  And yes...all the guys were wearing purple!  PURPLE!  Ah, Prince (or the artist formerly known as...) would have been soooooooo proud!

Don't worry ladies!  I got the guy!  The following year this was our Jr. Prom pic.  I was fantastic in my red satin dress...with crutches, and a big ass brace on my right ankle.  Oh yeah.  

Sr. Year.  Embrace the hippier side of life.  Bell bottoms were back in style and that adorable flowered tank, formerly a dress, had a run in with my scissors.

Bring on the college years!  Jeans & t shirts all the way baby!

There was always the end of college, don't want to grow up quite yet, but have to look like an adult age.  A nice jean shirt, cute tank, perfect accessories...matched with twisted back and spiked up hair!  REBEL AGAINST BEING GROWN UP!

The bar days!  Back to the 70's style tight baby doll t-shirts.  The only problem was the big ol' boobs!  Always packed into the t-shirt like a fat man in a Honda.  Note-I loved my hair like this!

1st year in my house.  Halloween party.  I was uhm...I don't know.  But the kiddos insisted my hair be sprayed colors just like theirs.  I love that its all over my arms too!

The wedding!  A moment of simplicity and grace...and then THOSE BOOTS!

This past year.  Just about to hit the big 30 and  I refused to conform.  Why should I?  Life is too short to spend it as a sheep.  Perhaps I will go blue this summer.

Today.  Well, not TODAY today but within the last 2 months.  

My new favorite accessory is my Moose.  

He matches everything.  While a bit more cumbersome to wear than some accessories, he is by far the most complimented accessory I own.  Back to the days of Jeans and comfy shirts, anything that doesn't stain, and won't cause a Tara Reid moment.  

So that's my flash back in a nut shell.  Short sweet and to the stitches.  Makes ya wonder what we were thinking!  Makes you wonder what's yet to come!

It's all about ME ME ME!!

YAY!  It's my birthday today!!!

I'm not one of those people who gets all bummed and "wahhhh, I'm older!"  I love birthdays!!

I love looking back at what I have accomplished, what has changed in a year, and looking forward to what is coming.

So while my spaghetti breakfast cooks (Yes, I said Spaghetti Breakfast!) I will reflect here and then look forward with all of you.

I was born in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere, Indiana to the best parents in the world.

I have this sister.  I'd love to smack her head against a wall and knock some sense into her...but I love her none the less.

  

We moved to the Windy City when I was 5.  And NO, for those of you who need to be schooled-it's not called that because of the weather...although it can be quite blustery!

I got into photography in 1st grade.

I saved my sister from drowning in this very pool when I was only 6.

I have been eaten by dinosaurs.

I have played piano concerts, and contests, and won trophies at a very young age.  (Ok, not quite this young)

I met the love of my life when I was 15...how many people can say that and mean it?

I have been eaten by Pumpkins.

I have traveled all over the US, Canada, and have been to parts of Africa.

I survived college...and at an art school to boot!

I have worked as a cashier, a waitress, a photo lab bitch...eventually promoted to photo lab manager, a stocker, a horse trainer, a mechanic (sort of), a "loss prevention specialist (it was my job to bust shop lifters...awesome job!), a pool supply sales account manager, a tanning salon bitch eventually promoted to tanning salon manager-honestly no better than being the bitch, a bartender, a "beer specialist" (glorified bartender at a small brewery - yeah that lasted about 10 hours), a pet specialist (glorified person who digs dead goldfish out of aquariums at Petsmart...that lasted until they told me to stick my hand in the thing of live crickets...so less than 10 hours), office manager, dispatcher, babysitter to a handful of 30+ ex cons, photographer, and now hold down my proudest job...Mama.

I have been blonde, brunette, red, and some colors that I'm not entirely sure have names.

I have married the man of my dreams. 

I have been eaten by lions.

I have become a mother to 3 overnight. 

I have embraced the simple yet slightly redneck life.

Yes...that's my husband riding a Kitty Kat (children's size snow-mobile) and pulling a sled behind it.  On a street.  In town.  

I have almost been eaten by deer.

I have been loved and spoiled and treated like a queen

I have snuck behind military blockades

I have documented the struggle and rebirth of communities.

I have published a book and given back to the communities.

I gave birth (well I laid there while they pulled him out of my belly...so technically I think my doc and nurse Jacquie gave birth...but whatever...I take credit!) to the most amazing little person in the world.

I have done more and seen more than a lot of people my age can say they have.  I look back with no regret and look forward with excitement!  Bring on 31!  I'm ready for it!

I 

Mothers and Mayhem

I'll be the 1st to admit I've been neglecting my poor blog and all my lovely readers.  Life has been...well...weird to say the least.  If you actually read the about me section of the blog, then you know that our family is a complicated blended one.  We have had a lot going on lately with court, crazy fraudulent accusations, and an assortment of BSC which has taken up quite a bit of time.  Every time I think things are slowing down, they heat back up again!

In the last 48 hours I have had a kick ass Mother's day...as much so as one can when you're sick with other sickies in the house, almost killed myself...literally..., and found out I overdrew my bank account by almost $700!!! It's cool...I got the bank thing fixed.  How do you forget you wrote a check that big?!?  And thank God for small banks because all it took was a little arm twisting to get the NSF fees replaced.  PHEW!

So lets go back.  The day before Mother's Day was ok.  I have a horrid sinus infection (damn crossing military blockades and getting gram negative bacteria, and EBV, and ending up with chronic sinusitis...).  I am the sinus infection queen.  The kids brought home a virus from school and have been playing pass it around for 2 weeks.  Each took their turn...our little man ended up back on the nebulizer just as a precaution after his huge round with bronchiolitis this past winter.  SOoooooooooo I sat all sickly on Saturday, going through decorating magazines and clippings that I have collected over the years and decorated the house I want to buy in my head.
Sunday I ditched church *GASP!* yeah yeah...stayed home with one kiddo on the couch still feeling crappy, the baby boy who by this time was feeling MUCH better...and myself locked in imaginary house decorating land.  After church with the other 2 kids, my hubby picked up some food for our lunch and stopped by his parents to pick up some lovely gifts for me, a willow tree statue and gorgeous necklace.

We hung out all afternoon and just had a great time.  I was spoiled rotten and showered with art projects, letters and a Flip Video!!! YAY!!

The weekend drew to a nice close.  Monday morning.  Ugh.
I started laundry and upon removing the pack n play sheet, realized that there was some orange liquidy stuff dried in the cracks of the mattress.  Once I got the wash started I grabbed my choice of cleaning products (Clorox Clean Up-I use it for everything) and headed off to scrub the pack n play mattress.  About 3 squirts in I realized the bleach smell was probably too strong for little man and took him out to his exersaucer in the family room.  Then back to the room.  The smell went from bad to worse and way more pungent than bleach. NO IT WAS NOT PEE...I know not to mix urine and bleach.  So as I'm scrubbing I start feeling weird and then seeing stars.  I stood up and almost passed out.  I got the windows open, fan on and out of the room as fast as I could.  Before I knew it, my throat, nose and chest felt like I had breathed in and swallowed razors!
It hurt to breath, I was coughing so hard I couldn't stop, and still was struggling to maintain consciousness.

As it turns out, stomach bile does the same thing as urine...when mixed with bleach it creates ammonia gas.
Little man had thrown up in the night the week before.  I was holding him when it happened and sort of aimed him down onto the dog's bed.  The dog bed had been washed the next morning, but I didn't realize that a little bit had gotten projectiled onto the corner of the pack n play and run down under the sheet and onto the mattress.  Gross!  I called the docs office just to make sure I didn't need to be seen by someone and found out that not only can bile and urine do that, but so can a host of other fluids...including dried up beer!  Who knew?!?

So Monday brought a brush with death.  Stupid death.

I was ordered to take it easy, mostly by friends and family...not so much the docs office who said I would be fine as long as I didn't present any breathing problems later in the day (I didn't).
I thought about it, and decided, why take it easy.  What better time to fly through life getting things done than just after almost dying?!
Besides, I now had a predicament.  Where would my little co-sleeper sleep?!?  The mattress was out in the middle of the front yard and no stores carry just the pack n play mattresses alone.  Graco said 6-8 weeks for delivery.  Seriously Graco...that's a little ridiculous.

The hubs had to work late.  I mean 17 hour day late.  After dinner, my youngest 2 hung and watched tv.  Yes, my baby watches tv sometimes.  Judge away but the boy LOVES wrestling...lots of lights and colors and fireworks!  It's like baby crack.
So as I was saying, baby crack on tv, the older 2 were my union crew chiefs.  They observed and 'assisted' as I removed the door from the nursery, removed the door jam from the nursery, and proceeded to move furniture and all sorts of things out of the way as I drug the crib from Moose's room to our room ONLY to find that there's not enough room at the end of the bed to squeeze the crib past it.  So what did I do...I picked the crib up and lifted it up and over the bed.  I earned the title of "world's strongest mom" in the process.  So the Moose bed is in our room, and we're good to go!

So you can see how things got too busy to blog.  Blogging isn't life.  Life and family are life.  Thank God mine are back to normal now!

Levels and Definitions of Stupid

Just as I have blogged that there are levels of crazy, there are also levels of stupidity.
Consider this your one stop shopping for how NOT to look like a complete moron.
I will cover each level, the symptoms and signs of it, and of course-how to avoid it.

Let us begin:

The "Durrrrrh"
This person is of above average intelligence and prone to repeated momentary lapse of said intelligence.
Usually these momentary lapses involve things such as misplacing keys, cell phones, or purses/wallets.
Now, we all have these moments but The Durrrrh is separated from normal people by having these moments over, and over, and over, and over.  Admittedly, I fall into this category as I lose my cell phone at least 3 times a day and my keys at least once a day.  Often times a fully functional normal person can slip into The Durrrrh category simply by having a change of life status.  These changes can be as simple as moving to a new home and not having a "place" for everything or as dramatic as taking on multiple children at once for daycare/babysitting/or living with you.  It is possible for a Durrrrh to move back to a normal status, but usually requires some time for them to adjust to their new life status, or for things to go back to their old ways.
The Durrrrh is harmless, and fully aware of the idiocy of their actions.

The only way for a Durrrrh to stop looking stupid is for them to establish a routine that helps them overcome their momentary lapses of intelligence.

The Oblivious
Frequently categorized as Bimbos, the Oblivious is someone of average intelligence who has their head so far up their ass at most times of the day, that it is difficult to imagine how they are able to walk.  Cheerleaders often fall into this category.  Think of Alicia Silverstone in Clueless...yeah that is what The Oblivious appears like.  They are often heard laughing at things and then saying, "Wait....Whaaaaaaat?"
The Oblivious is likely to have no idea what is going on around them, have no idea what people are talking about, or walk right out into traffic.  They are smarter than they appear but they live in their own little world inside of their heads and only venture out of that little world when someone or something grabs their attention. Like a cat, these attention getters are often shiny or sparkley objects.  They can be mesmerized for hours by a diamond or crystal chandelier.
The Oblivious can be spotted in a crowd by the blank stare on their face or by the typical look of a "cod fish" (mouth open, jaw sagging, big eyes shifting listlessly to all going on around them).
The Oblivious is harmless by nature BUT can be quite dangerous behind the wheel of a car (ask my Dad's Mercedes).

The only way for an Oblivious to overcome their idiocy is for them to have their head surgically removed from their hind quarters.  This is a costly operation and quite often, an Oblivious can be found only days after the procedure, locked in their home with their head right back where it was.

The Finger Pointer
Without a doubt, the most irritating of the idiots, the Finger Pointer refuses to accept responsibility for their stupidity and will materialize the most absurd ways to blame others for their actions!
There are 2 levels of Finger Pointer.  The first level are those who are scared to take the blame for their idiocy and thus find ways to blame others-this type is known as the Coward Finger Pointer
These people make mistakes, frequently at work or school and blame anyone that they possibly can.  This type of Finger Pointer will do something like, screw up payroll and blame the employees for it stating they filled their time cards in wrong...or forget to include something in a major presentation and blame the secretary for it, all the while hiding that THEY are truly the ones who messed things up.  Inevitably the Coward Finger Pointer gets caught up in their web of lies and found out.  Unfortunately, all too often, them being realized happens too late for some of their victims.

The second type of Finger Pointer is the type who honestly believe that their idiocy is caused by others...these people also fall into the categories of Koo-Koo-Loolie or BSC.  See levels of crazy post:  http://www.21stcenturydomesticgoddess.com/2010/04/levels-definitions-of-crazy-21st-cent.html
This Finger Pointer is referred to as the Crazy Finger Pointer, for reasons that are obvious.
This person will blame others for everything and anything even if it's not something they should be concerned with being blamed themselves for.  Some examples of Crazy Finger Pointing are:
*Missing an important court date and blaming the Circuit Clerk's office, stating they never told them when the court date was...uhm...pick up the phone and call to find out.
*Not being able to control their temper and blaming the person they are lashing out at.  (Admittedly there are times when a person can push another to lashing out...however the Crazy Finger Pointer will lash out at people who have done absolutely nothing).  Often times they will make accusations at other's and then later admit that the accusations are false and they only made those accusations because the other person was bothering them.
*This type of idiot would walk out into traffic and blame the person standing next to them saying something like "Well the guy next to me picked up his foot like he was about to walk out into the street...I was just following him."

The Crazy Finger Pointer is categorized by a FULL failure to accept responsibilities for one's actions.  This type of idiot requires extensive help in the form of counseling, therapy, or a good ass kicking by someone on the receiving end of one of their accusations in order to overcome their idiocy.

The Hopeless
We all know this type.  They exhibit a level of idiocy that leaves us standing in awe and shaking our heads.
The Hopeless make mistakes so epically stupid that most people can not even comprehend them.  Hopeless will look first, see cars coming and yet STILL walk out into traffic.  They lie to a level that touches on clinical, pathological, and/or compulsory.  A Hopeless often prances their friends and family members around as though they are good company to have-No...a recently paroled person is NOT the best person to have standing next to you in court no matter WHAT other's may have told you.  They do incredibly stupid things when drunk or high and then claim to have never done them.  Often times a Hopeless will cross over to the Finger Pointer category and blame others for their stupidity but on a level far more damaging to themselves than that of the Finger Pointer.  The Hopeless will often file false or fraudulent reports believing that they can get away with it, or that they have a right to do so.  They often, mistakenly, believe that they can convince others to believe their lies.  The flaw in this reasoning is that their lies are so over the top ridiculous that their transparency can be likened to Kodachrome.

The Hopeless is quite frankly, beyond help.  Their level of stupidity will often eventually land them in jail or the morgue.  They refuse to open their eyes to the fact that they are far too retarded in their processing to dupe those of even below average intelligence.  Do NOT attempt to help a Hopeless for they are...quite hopeless.

GOOD MORNING MONDAY!

And good morning to my awesome readers!  *Psssst...that's you!*

So my weekend was full of ups and downs.  Saturday sucked then rocked then sucked then rocked. OH yeah, it was that up and down!

The girlies all saw the eye doc this weekend, 2 of the 3 got new glasses...FANCY FANCY!!  So cute too, one of them picked glasses that are "just like" mine so "we can be twins!"  *UP!*

Little man had the sniffles and just wasn't acting like himself.  I took him into the doc Saturday morning and sure enough, he has a little bit of a virus and COULD be developing an ear infection.  The doc asked me what made me think he might have an ear infection, I told her he was chewing on his teethers way at the back...he's only 5 mo so he shouldn't be cutting molars...she shook her head and said "You are one perceptive woman!"  Yup...Thank you John White-greatest Photojournalism teacher ever...who taught me to never miss anything.  The skills he taught me to watch everything, observe everything and miss nothing have benefited us in ways I can not even begin to tell you, from court to keeping kids safe and healthy, nothing goes undetected!

So antibiotics and back on the nebulizer (only for 3 days) to make sure the drainage doesn't present as an upper respiratory infection like he had before...could be worse but this = *DOWN* no one likes to see their little man sick :(

I hit the flea market with my mama!  *UP!*  This is our monthly mother daughter time and something I wouldn't miss for the world!  The flea market...always great for people watching...but this month was a bomb out month for buying stuff.  Lots of junk not much cool stuff.  The flower/plant people were out but not the guy we like :(  boo!  *DOWN* and our jewelry guy wasn't there either but we did meet this really cool chick from SC who had some awesome jewelry!
The most amazing and weird item we found was this lamp...that's right, I said LAMP:

No, I didn't buy it.  As tempting as it was to have this Southern Belle displayed in my living room, I passed on this opportunity!

I did however find this guy who makes the coolest little lawn & garden decorations!

He uses common household items and welds them (why didn't I think of this?!??!) to look like little bugs and stuff!  Some of his stuff was made out of forks and knives!!  I bought these 2 little cutie pies!

How creative and adorable are those?!  I'm a big fan of a well groomed yard though mine is far from it this spring.  I do love my little lawn chotchkies but promise you, I'm not that person who's place looks like a lawn & garden junk store!

I have mostly cobalt stuff (my fave).  I'm a huge fan of Chihuly http://www.chihuly.com/ but could never in a million years afford to purchase his work.  My mom bought my this sweet glass lawn ornament that is very reminiscent of Chihuly's art:

It goes beautifully with my cobalt blue bird bath!  I'm a bird fan.  I have a beautiful Wren who returns every year to her home just outside my kitchen window.  Last summer she had 3 babies, who flew the coup when we were in Florida on vacation:

Back to my weekend...we had a craptastic note on our door when we got home.  I'll elaborate on that when I have the chance.  It basically said Shirley is as Shirley does and while Shirley knows things are great, Sybil likes to stir up the drama.  Vague I know, but give it time.  *DOWN*

Talked to some people and found out the craptastic note is a fantastic thing for us going forward!  Again, vague...I know...read the about me and you'll see why some things are less than obvious.  So the weekend ended on an *UP* with good news about what we thought would be a very dramatic thing.  

Shopping, docs, new glasses, and more.  I love my time with my family...glad to be back to the grind today, have lots to do this week.  Can't wait for this weekend!  Mother's day is coming up and my bday soon too!!!